And no, it's not me. It's my little sister and one of my best friends. Yup, that's two weddings this year (not counting the ones I'm merely invited to and not taking part in) and it's causing me some sleepless nights and, on the odd occasion when I do fall asleep, I'm having the weirdest dreams.
Now first of all, I'm an anxious person. Naturally. It's this wonderful little thing where my brain chemistry isn't quite what it's meant to be, which means I have these great moods when I really just want to crawl into a hole somewhere and not come out until winter. Ha! Thought I'd say Spring, didn't ya? Nope, I'm a winter-loving, boots-wearing, hats-scarves-and-gloves kinda gal. I abhore the sun and the most outdoorsy thing I will do is walk in the rain. Which I did today, for that matter. It was lovely.
But back to the wedding sagas. I have one wedding in May and another in December, which is why I have decided to give myself the whole year to plot and plan my move to The Netherlands. As much as I would love to just pack my stuff up and disappear, my little sister would a.) Kill me, and b.) have a nervous breakdown trying to plan her whole wedding herself. See, the anxiety thing clearly runs in the family.
The nice thing about my "disorder" is that order and control make things better and easier. Without a set routine at the moment, it's a little tricky finding some semblance of normality in my rather chaotic life at the moment. So organising, planning, scheduling, filing, researching and pretty much doing all the grunt work is more of a blessing than a chore. And holy hell, there's a crap load of it to do.
I've always loved weddings (I'm a romantic at heart. No, really.) and have been involved in a few already just never to this extent. I'm starting to realise a few things about weddings that I thought I should share with you.
1. Customer service in this country sucks.
I cannot express this enough. People don't return phonecalls; they don't listen to what you want or what you're asking; you are charged ridiculous amounts of money for everything (R500 for a bridesmaid dress consultation - SERIOUSLY?!?) and for an industry where you would think the philosophy is simple (Make. Her. Day.), people really just don't care. I won't bore you with the details but last week, after two months of fighting with a certain bridal boutique, I got a phone call from the owner threatening to sue me for defamation if I didn't take the negative comment I posted on her facebook page down. Yes, I tried explaining to her how social media works and how she can actually delete the post herself. I also tried to point out that as a media professional, one thing I do know is how defamation works. But she wasn't interested in listening, so I wished her luck with her lawsuit in the most polite manner I could muster.
2. Every bride is different.
After watching more episodes of Say Yes To The Dress than I care to admit (I'm unemployed. It's a guilty pleasure. Don't judge me.), I have realised that even if you think she looks like a 6-year-old's Barbie cake, ultimately, it's her decision. And no matter how well or how long you've known her, the bride's idea of what she wants doesn't really materialise until she commits to a decision. My sister, for example, has always been the more outgoing in the family (some would say melodramatic, some would be right). So we (herself included) have been surprised on more than one occasion when she's gone with something very traditional. In fact, I've learned that until you try the dress on, see the decor in person, or actually listen to the perfect song, there's no telling what way a bride will rule.
3. Weddings take time.
A lot of time. Copious amounts of time. Weekends. Weekdays. Weeknights. Public holidays. Religious holidays. Between running errands during the day and spending my weekends with the alternating brides, I don't actually have that much time for myself. Most people, unlike me, work full time so finding times outside of work hours to do things like visit potential venues, meet with photographers and DJs and go for trial hair and make-up appointments is really difficult. In my opinion, the wedding industry should work the way I think banks should work. Outside of working hours. And anyone who thinks you can get married in four months is delusional.
4. Wedding planning is not for romantics.
I can't tell you how many people have said to me over the past few weeks that I should do this full time. Just because I created wedding files complete with post-its, pens, dividers and worksheets (yes, worksheets) to help my bridal buddies out, every one now thinks I'd be a pro at this. My response? I cannot think of anything worse. Really, you want me to spend my days surrounded by people in love who aren't me planning a wedding that's not mine? Do I have the word "masochist" tattooed on my body somewhere? Think about it. That movie with Jennifer Lopez as the wedding planner? You know she ran off with someone else's groom, right? That is not a storybook ending!
5. I am an eternal optimist.
I love love. I love being in love. I'm one of those people who is happiest when in a relationship, which is strange since I've spent more time single than not. I'm not a crazy "oh em gee, I can't wait to get married and have your babies" kind of girl. In fact, I'm not even sure I agree with the whole marriage concept (child of divorce - that's a whole other kettle of fish) but a wedding...that is something I want. An entire day where you get spoilt and pampered, wear a gorgeous dress, eat yummy food, dance the night away with people you love, get presents, and the only thing every one has to do is tell you how beautiful you are....that sounds like my kind of day. And you get cake! And champagne! Yes, a wedding is something I would definitely like to experience one day.
Although I haven't quite gone so far as to try on one of the wedding dresses I've been surrounded by, I have managed to get some idea of what I do want in my future partner. A guy that is willing to stand up in front of your friends and family and promise to be with you forever. Who will go through all the pre-wedding craziness with you and stand loyally by your side while you contemplate the right shade of white for an envelope. That. That's the kind of guy I'm in the market for. And if other people have managed to find him, I think maybe I could too.
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